Notes - Getting Married: Islamic Guidance on Successful Steps Towards Marriage
Taught By: Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
- Lesson 1: Overview and Marriage as a spiritual act.
- Why is Marriage Half of Religion?
- Understanding the Qur'anic Guidance on Marriage
- Key Prophetic Hadiths on the Spirit and Purpose of Marriage
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- Why is Marriage Half of Religion?
- There's a hadith which mentions, "Whoever marries has completed half of his faith. So let him beware of Allah regarding the other half."
- Why is marriage so important as an institution?
- The Qur'anic guidance of marriage can be found in the ayah which states, "Exalted is He who created all pairs - from what the earth grows and from themselves and from that which they do not know." (36:36) There is wisdom in him creating the creation and human themselves in pairs. The creation manifests attributes of Allah (SWT) i.e majesty and beauty, justice and mercy. All of this unfolds in the pairs. - Many of us have heard the above hadith of marriage being half of religion but have we contemplated on why that is so? As a believer, one should be in a state of reflection. One should ask questions.
- There are two types of questioning:
1) Satanic questioning - Questioning with arrogance. i.e, 'why the heck is..'
2) Abrahamic questioning - Questioning in order to understand and to gain clarity and insight in order to perfect one's submission to Allah.
- Marriage is not just a worldly institution. Half of one's faith revolves around marriage. How is that so? To understand such matters, one needs to know definitions.
- Shaykh Adeeb (scholar from Damascus) would say, "Matters are known by definitions."
- We know the definition of marriage but what is the definition of religion. What is the reality of religion?
- Religion in the arabic language is referred to as deen. The Prophet (SAW) gave us a definition of din. He said, "The Deen is naseehah (sincerity and sincere advice)
- The companions were taken aback because they understood Arabic deeply and they knew naseeha meant giving advice. How can deen be naseeha?
- They asked the Prophet (SAW), "To whom?" The Prophet (SAW) completely shifted the companions' frame of reference.He said,"To Allah and His Book, and His messenger, and to the leaders of the Muslims and their common folk".
- The companions knew the general usage of the word naseeha which meant giving advice but the root sense of the words was more subtle.
- Naseeha means:
1) to perfect something, to purify it.
2) taking something to its full potential.
3) sincere concern and care for someone.
4) removing any imperfections
5) be true to something as well as respect it.
- Arabic phrases using the words naseeha:
a) Naseehul Nasal = Pure honey
b) Nasaltul Jild = Leather stitched together
c) The tailor is known as Khayad an Nasih = makes good the cloth.
- Thus Naseeha is sincere concern in respect to one another.
- But what is the relation of marriage to this sincere concern?
- To understand, we need to know that there are two aspects of religion:
1) Relationship with God (acts or worship and upholding limits of Allah in one's life; to have sincerity and make actions for the sake of Allah alone.)
2) Relationship with God's creation (how you interact with the world are you, nature, animals and other people)
- And the key to making good your relationship with others is to have sincere concern towards them. One hadith states, "None of you [truly] believes until he loves for his brother that which he loves for himself." This is where that naseeha relates.
- How is that concern manifested in your relationship with the people? The key is developing concern and care and upholding good character. A Hadith states, “Fear Allah wherever you may be; follow up an evil deed with a good one which will wipe (the former) out, and behave good-naturedly towards people.”
- This is the means of attaining the pleasure of Allah. That is to have good character and it is also an expression of sincerity.
- Thus for this reason marriage is half the deen because it is a test of both your character and also a means by which you perfect your character.